Car-babble doom-speak: Getting conned while having my oil changed.

I get my oil changed fairly often. I feel it's the single biggest thing I can do to keep my car from dying before its time.

However, I dislike changing my own oil. I know HOW to, it's just that I dislike it. It requires getting slippery and dirty in parts of the car that I'd rather not go. And oil filters are hard to get off if you don't have the proper tools. The last time I changed my oil myself, I had to pound a screwdriver through the filter so I could turn it to get it off. Messy.

So, I turn to the "professionals" for this task. And because I'm not one to plan too far ahead, I like to go to the local instant-lube place. Let's call it "Señor Lube". Which is why my complaints come in.

These places are run by generally friendly young folks. However, they're pressured to upsell. And upsell they do, in the most condescending possible way. However, over the years I've come to discredit almost everything they say.

• "Sir, your old oil is dark, so I recommend a hot oil flush to get the gunk out of the engine." Right. It's old oil. It's supposed to be dark. That's why I'm here, dude. And you're suggesting that I basically waste perfectly clean oil to "rinse" the inside of my engine? You want me to pay for 1 1/2 oil changes today?
• "Sir, I noticed your head gasket is damp, so I'd suggest that we put this special additive in to help with that." Right. Like your little $12 bottle of additive is going to prevent the head gasket blowing.
• "Sir, your air filter is quite dirty"<shows me the air filter which is slightly gray, and actually has a piece of 4" grass on it. It's March.>  Right. Like you didn't just put that piece of grass on the filter right now. No, take the grass back off the filter, and put it back in. It's good for another 5000 km.
• "Sir, I noticed that your car is old..." Yeah, that's right. It's because I don't have a lot of money. "...so I'd recommend you use a synthetic motor oil in it. It's only double the price of the usual oil you use." Right. Like a synthetic oil is really going to make this old heap run better than it currently is.
• "Sir, I noticed that your brake fluid is frothy, which indicates that it's going to break down and cause your brakes to fail at any moment. Naturally, I suggest you get this changed with our convenient brake fluid replacement service." Right. Looks fine to me. Plus, when I return 5000 km from now, and again 10,000 km from now, none of my subsequent "technicians" will comment on it.
• "Sir, OMG, I can't believe it. Your mechanic used green coolant in your radiator. Your car is only spec'ed for the orange coolant. I suggest we get this changed with our coolant service immediately." Really. You expect me to believe the opinion of a 16-year old oil change worker vs. the opinion of my mechanic, who has 35 years experience. I don't think so. Plus, I kind of like the color green. Leave it, kid.
• "Sir, your PVC valve (or sometimes it's the inside of the oil cap) is dirty. That's a sign that your engine is burning oil. I'd recommend you get our hot oil flush." Again with the hot oil flush. Gimme a break!

Mrs. Lurch is equally frustrated and intimidated by the barrage of auto-babble doom-speak. However, she simply bats her eyelashes at them and responds, "Oo, you better write that down. I'll ask my husband about that the moment I get home." Unfortunately, I can't do that trick; I have to resort to "Well, son, I'll have to ask my mechanic about that next time I bring the car in for scheduled maintenance"... which sounds pretty wimpy.

And yet, in spite of this, I keep coming back. I suppose I'm one of the many who's willing to put up with aggressive upselling in the name of a fast convenient oil change.

The EU SARTRE aka "the road train" is coming 'round the bend

The SARTRE project which "aims to develop, test and validate
technology for vehicles that can drive themselves in long road trains on motorways" is now a year into their 3-year investigation, and have released an interesting 8-minute video highlighting where they are so far.
I found it informative, interesting, and refreshing -- these are clearly smart people who are not naive about the challenges facing their project, and are considering the many human variables that can happen in real world traffic.

Like the Google Car, I think this is supremely valuable to the end user, who can now spend her time doing work, reading, eating, etc.
Unlike the Google Car, this seems more achievable in the short term, since the judgement calls are being made by human drivers, not by pure software.

Have your smartphone adjust your seat for you!

My friends at motorauthority.com have a great article on a smartphone app from Faurecia which custom-adjusts your seat based on your real measurements, as taken from a camera photo.

I'm hoping that by the time my old POC car is ready to be replaced, this will be available in vehicles in my modest price range. I'm often adjusting my seat to get comfortable in traffic, and I'm not convinced I'm doing it correctly... This would take away a lot of guesswork, and it has some other great features to boot!

Disaster in a tunnel?

This morning, the lovely and talented BitchCakes posted an entry in which she shares her fear of commuter disaster in a tunnel.

To which I commented:

In my city, I sometimes have to take a car tunnel that runs under a river. Every time I do, I have visions of that old Sly Stallone movie "Daylight".
There are a lot of bad drivers in my city, so I could easily imagine one of them panicking, hitting the wall, sideswiping me, and causing a big pileup, during which a semi truck punches a hole in the tunnel, allowing the muddy waters to flood in.

I can't look at faces while driving through tunnels for fear of being the one that causes the accident, but I DO make judgements based on the cars I see around me.
- The burgundy LeBaron -- probably a little old lady who looks like my grandma and weighs, like, 90 lbs.; I'd totally hoist her over my shoulder and get her to safety.
- The white minivan -- probably full of kids on their way to school; they'd probably (erroneously) look to me as a leader to get them through the burning wreckage floating on the icy water.
- The silver Escalade -- probably driven by a total douchebag who would step on my hands as he heads for higher ground at the end of the tunnel.
- etc.

So what do you think? Are BitchCakes and I alone  in our irrational fear of this scenario?

Golden Slumbers

Stellar rendition of a great song(s), sung by Paul McCartney and some superb backup musicians. ;)

Get thee home for some golden slumbers after a long week!

...Yeah, but can traffic thin enough for them to make the jump to hyperspace?

Image courtesy of buzzfeed.com

A better internal combustion engine?

I sit in traffic a lot, and am very interested in ways of commuting in a way that is more efficient in terms of time, and ecological footprint.


I came across this today, which is very interesting. These smart folks are working on an internal combustion engine which is more efficient, yields more power, and would allow "smart engines" where modules are turned off if idle and on when power is needed.

Not productized into a car yet, but looks promising. Might be a good stepping stone to non-fossil-fuel based cars.

Check them out at:
http://ecomotors.com/

Friday afternoon driving tunes: Thunder Road

Yup.

You didn't expect a commuter blog to NOT include Thunder Road in its playlist at some point, did you?

Hope your weekend is a good one!

What's wrong with this picture?

What's with this guy?

If you look at the position of his head, you can tell that he's leaning way over onto the middle elbow rest. 

He's been driving this way for 20 minutes, so it's not like he's adjusting his radio.

He doesn't have a passenger, so he's not getting amorous or giving his girlfriend his undivided attention.

He's probably got a numb right butt cheek. 

He's probably got a sore neck from keeping his head vertical.

He's probably got a sore back because of the curve he's forcing his back to endure.

...OTOH, his chiropractor probably loves him for the future business. LOL

 No-one I know drives this way, although there are lots of people out there that do.

Can anyone illuminate me? Why do people drive like this?

Nissan Leaf electric car is coming soon!

 Key quotes and photos from our friends at digitaltrends.com:

http://www.digitaltrends.com/lifestyle/nissan-leaf-review/

There are no gears in an electric car. Therefore, there are no numbers to indicate gear level. Instead, you either shift into D for Drive, ECO (or Drive X2) to save battery power at the cost of acceleration, reverse or neutral.

... this sounds fine to me. Most of the time, I'm stuck in gridlock, and ECO is perfect. The occasional time the road opens up in front of me, or I need to accelerate past a semi, I think I'm smart enough to switch it to D mode.

Sitting behind the wheel, you’re given plenty of information about the vehicle’s state of charge and how far it will go on a charge. The touchscreen in the middle stack displays a host of energy consumption metrics: how much power the climate controls are using, how many extra miles you’ll get if you shut them off, how many miles you have left, how many kilowatts the electric motor is using or how much energy the regenerative brakes are recovering. This info is easy to interact with and use.

... the geek in me finds this very appealing. I love realtime data. :)

The Leaf is a radical departure just from the fact that it does not use gas. Sure, there are plenty of infrastructure issues to work out. ... In the end, the time is right for the Nissan Leaf. It’s a smart electric car that will, at long last, wean us from gasoline.

Hear, hear! Let me drive one!

Friday afternoon driving tunes: You can do it by No Doubt

Underrated song from a great album from years gone by. Crank it up, get back to it and win the race, baby! :)

Bullet hole stickers

As I sit in traffic, I have a lot of time to think about things. 

I'd like to say, it's always about the big things in life. 

However, it's often about the mundane. 

...Like the vehicle in front of me and those bullet holes. What's with those things? Maybe you've seen them -- the very classy stickers that look like bullet holes, usually afixed to the bumper.

I always find it kind of funny that they're usually put on with great care to appear like the vehicle was casually strafed with a machine gun, but not with enough care to ensure that the light source and shadow effects have a consistent direction. (hint for those of you who might be considering putting these inspired ornamentations on your ride: the sun is always above you, and a bullet makes an indentation, so that would make the shadow on the top edge of the hole, and the highlight on the bottom edge. And it would be consistent from bullet hole #1 through bullet hole #400. Got it?) :)

So, what's the point of these things?
I suspect the idea is to make the driver look tough and interesting, as in "look at the trouble I get myself into."
However, I always think it says "people hate me enough to shoot at me, and I'm not man enough to face them, so I was running away when they shot me."

Think about that, tough guy.

Photo of bullet holes courtesy of www.bullet1.com

Time Stand Still

Alright, my friends. It's Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiday!
Hopefully traffic is moving, and it's only time that's standing still for you. <smile>
Here's a great driving tune to get you through the commute. Drum on that steering wheel like you mean it!

I turn my back to the wind
To catch my breath
Before I start off again.
Driven on without a moment to spend
To pass an evening with a drink and a friend
...

Terribly apropos, no?

3 reasons that the Google Car is brilliant for the frustrated commuter

Google is already a friend to the frustrated commuter, because they help me avoid traffic with Google Maps Traffic. 

Now, it has been revealed that they've been investigating computer-driven cars. Not an original idea, mind you, but it actually looks like it stands a credible chance of happening with our existing infrastructure (read: doesn't rely on magnets in the road).

Here's the official announcement from Google.

And here's an article that shows some of the how-to of the Google Car.
 
 

image courtesy of NYTimes.com

So, I'm totally in love with the idea. 
Here are 3 reasons that the Google Car is brilliant for the frustrated commuter.

1. Efficiency of traffic flow

Have I told you how much I hate being stuck traffic? When you think about it, "increased volume" should not equal "slowed speed", except at the "queue points" such as highway on-ramps. The reason traffic slows with volume has to do with the human psyche -- we get nervous and we naturally slow down when we're feeling claustrophobic when boxed in. Tapping the breaks or slightly slowing at one point in the highway translates to a full stop miles down the road behind the original incident, as the reaction to those brake lights cascades back through the traffic column with increasing force. A computer-driven car has none of these hang-ups. Traffic will continue to move smoothly when the cars in the traffic are driven by computers.

2. More "me time"

Ignoring the probable time-in-traffic savings in the previous point, there's another way that a Google-driven car would give me more "me" time: the ability to fully engage in something besides driving. I can imagine reading a book, working on a laptop, texting, watching a movie, practicing my drawing skills, taking a nap, etc.; all while sitting in my driver's seat as the computer drives my car to my destination with speed and efficiency. The possibilities are endless.

3. Safety

There are a lot of people who are not particularly good drivers (and I reluctantly have to include myself in that group). If a computer-driven car could make the mediocre drivers move through traffic in a better-than-mediocre way, I think that's useful. Plus, a lot of drivers drive distracted. All the activities I list in the previous bullet (reading, movies, texting, etc.) some drivers do already today. The Google car would simply take over the driving from the drivers that are already doing these things unsafely.

Bring it on Google! This frustrated commuter says, "it can't come quickly enough!" :D

Bring the funk

Gray, drizzly Friday afternoon.

This seems helpful:

Stuck in traffic with kids

Yesterday, I took 4 hours off from my vacation time pool. The day was overcast but dry (though threatening rain for the next day), and the kids were out of school on a Pro-D day, workload at the office was a little light... it's rare for everything to align so perfectly, so I decided to just go out and take advantage of the opportunity to go for a hike with my 2 oldest.

I live out on the flats where, although there are hikes, they're pretty flat. When we get the opportunity, we like to hike in the mountains. So that means, off we go across the bridge to the north shore where the mountains are.

We had a lovely time, but that's not why I'm telling you this.

On the way back, around 4:00 PM, we hit some rush hour traffic. We were crawling along at maybe 5 km/h for about 20 minutes. The kids in the back were having a great time, pulling each others' hair, giggling, calling each other "gooberface" or somesuch, being obnoxious to each other, and generally having the sort of giddy good time that kids do. I found this odd, because I was steaming about the frustratingly slow road progress. 

So I asked my 10-year old what she thought about this heavy traffic, in which I'm stuck frequently. She responded,
"It's not bad as long as you have tasty gum and good music to listen to."

And there you go. 

Not quite the amazing insight I was secretly hoping for, but I think there's some food for thought there. :)

Friday afternoon driving tunes: "Leave a light on for me"

Confession:

On my Friday afternoon commute, I like to put on my iPod which I turn up really loud. 

I select some guilty pleasure music (modernity, hipness and artistic merit be damned), grab a couple of Bic pens, and proceed to drum on my steering wheel. 

My rythm is awful, but the crowded rock stadium in my head loves it.

Here's what I've got cranked this afternoon:

What about you?

Welcome

Hi.

Welcome to my commuter blog. 

Or, shall I say, "our commuter blog". :)

As I sit in traffic every day, I see thousands of people around me in vehicles. We're all different, but we share a common bond in that we're stuck in this gridlock traffic together. It would be great if there was a place we could share stories, insights, commiserations, and perhaps be mildly entertained along the way. So this blog is for you as much as it is for me.

So who am I?

I'm a twitchy, paranoid, shy little guy. I'm stuck in the rat race, and stranded in the burbs about 30 km from my work. 

Which city and country I'm in isn't really important; I like to think of myself as an "everyman" (or, I suppose, "everycommuter").

I have to navigate side-streets, highways, bridges (including one undergoing major construction), and a technical college's pedestrian and road traffic to get to my office.  I'm just a poor schmuck trying to pay the bills. You've probably been stuck beside me as I try to make my way in to work. I'm the guy with the pencil neck, glasses, golf shirt, and the dead eyes. Next time we're stuck in gridlock, be sure to wave hello.

Cheers,

Lurch